Posted in Daily Post

Daily Prompt: Mr. Sandman

What kind of sleeper are you? Do you drop off like a stone and awaken refreshed, or do you need pitch black and silence to drift off to dream? — http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/23/daily-prompt-mr-sandman/

For me, sleep is often an elusive thing–hard to catch and hard to keep. I often wake up at least once or twice throughout the night–sometimes every hour and a half all night long, which is obnoxious–but sometimes I actually manage to fall asleep when I lie down and stay asleep until morning. Or. You know. Afternoon.

I regularly go through bouts of insomnia, which is relatively unfortunate. I regularly pull all-nighters because of procrastination of schoolwork. Oops. But I like naps. I like naps a lot. Even for a nap though, I have to allot myself extra time because it usually takes me forever and a half just to fall asleep. I dislike it. But there it is.

This morning, I woke up at 7:30 a.m. and haven’t been able to sleep since. Which means I’ve been up almost 5 hours. That’s a long time to be awake on a Sunday. Especially because my crabby pants boyfriend refuses to get up. Stupidhead didn’t come back down to bed until 6 this morning. I do, however, at least get to blame jet lag for this. I spent a week in London, which is 5 hours ahead of my normal time zone, and I got used to it much faster than I’m getting used to this. Apparently it’s easier to go forward than it is to go back. Who knew.

Posted in Daily Post

Daily Prompt: Three Coins in a Fountain

Have you ever tossed a coin or two into a fountain and made a wish? Did it come true? —http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/21/daily-prompt-coins/

I quit throwing coins into fountains, paying attention to 11:11’s on the clock, and wishing on stars about 3 1/2 years ago when my younger brother died. Because the only thing that I could ever truly wish for is to have my brother back, and that’s something that can never be made real for me.

Wishing became pointless, so I save my change, and my time. It just isn’t worth it anymore.

Spring Break

So spring break started for me at exactly 1:50 p.m. today, which was 100% awesome-sauce, because I’m going to London tomorrow. AAGGHHH LONDON!! A;SLDK!@$;OSID(#&!!!!! Super exciting. One of my dreams has always been to go to London. I really wish I was going to be there longer, but c’est la vie. Another time for sure.

Class requirement includes a travel blog, so if you wish to follow it, it’s at http://emilymellundlondon2014.blogspot.com and there will probably be posts up nightly. But no guarantees. Depends on what’s happening.

So there’s that! If you care.

I’m just super excited.

And ridiculously exhausted, actually. I need to go to bed. Oi.

Posted in Daily Post

Daily Prompt: Something So Strong

Tell us the origin story of your best friend. How did you become friends? What is it that keeps your friendship rockin’ after all these years?  http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/13/prompt-something-so-strong/

There are a couple of people I refer to as my best friends. The one I have decided to discuss is a lovely girl named Clare, whom I met at state speech competition my junior year of high school. We were [un/fortunately] in the same round for Humorous Interpretation, and the reason that I have to slash that word up there in the brackets is because if she hadn’t been in my round, I most certainly would have made finals. However, if she hadn’t been, I probably never would have met her. Maybe in finals, but maybe not. It’s hard to say.

Clare is a wonderful human being. She’s abso-friggin-lutely adorable from her dark, curly hair down to her cute little feet (and I don’t like feet, so that’s saying something). She is smart and motivated, and currently a BFA in theater at NDSU, same year/semester as me. We will graduate at the same time (but only because I just dropped my extra major/minor set). Honestly, I don’t have any idea what she’s doing anymore because I never got that into theater, and to an extent I don’t know if she really knows fully what I’m doing either. But we share a love of books, Harry Potter and Vlogbrothers (Nerdfighters ftw!) because, let’s face it, John and Hank Green are two of the most awesome people in existence. Just sayin.  She also makes an effort to understand me, even when she totally doesn’t. She’s been there for me through a lot that nobody else has, and I feel like I’m more open with her than most anybody else.

Frankly, that’s what keeps a friendship alive: open and honest and frequent communication. You can’t truly be friends with somebody if you don’t really know who they are, I think, and that’s why I love Clare so much. Even though there are pieces of each other we may never see/know/understand, we at least know those pieces exist and we’ve decided to be okay with that. Knowing me, sometimes I even wonder why she likes me–and that’s not a statement of self-deprecation, either. I can sometimes be hard to be friends with.

Posted in Daily Post

Daily Prompt: Brilliant Disguise

Tell us about a time when someone had you completely fooled, where the wool was pulled right over your eyes and you got hoodwinked, but good. Was it a humorous experience or one you’d rather forget? What was the outcome? — http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/14/daily-prompt-brilliant-disguise/

I hate to admit that I’ve been fooled repeatedly over the course of my life. I guess it’s my own fault for wanting to believe that people are just inherently honest.

My freshman year of college, I started talking to his kid in my sociology class and we got to be fairly decent friends, I suppose. He told me he was also a freshman, living at home, only taking a few credits while he was working and such. It seemed feasible, so I went with it. I liked him; I won’t pretend otherwise. I’d have certainly gone out with him if he’d have ever really asked. I mean, I guess we did go out once? Whatever.

So I find out after a few months that he’s totally still in high school and has been lying to me for months. Honestly, I had kind of suspected for awhile that something was up because there were a lot of things that just never added up to 100%, but, like I said, I wanted to believe that he was honest and whatever. I guess I hate to think that someone is lying to me.

Apparently he wanted me to like him and was afraid that I wouldn’t if I knew he was still in high school. I guess I’m that intimidating and come off as that big of a jerk, guys, that he felt he had to lie to me for 4 months just to be my friend. I still can’t decide if it was vaguely flattering or insulting or both or somewhere between. I don’t really think about it a whole lot anymore; there’s really no point, because we quit talking and I guess I don’t especially care, either. I’ve got bigger things to think about than a kid who pretended to be in college for a semester, frankly. So it’s not that it was a necessarily “humorous” experience, although it’s not like I try not to think about it either. I just don’t. At all… like ever… I mean, with the exception of right now, I suppose.

Posted in Daily Post

Daily Prompt: If You Leave

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose? http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/12/daily-prompt-if-you-leave/

At this stage in my life, there are many things which I debate leaving on a daily basis. As a junior in college, I am faced with the constant threat of “What comes next?” and I say that it’s a threat and not a question because, in this economy, it’s a scary thought. College is a guarantee for me: Classes and tests and papers and reading–it’s constant and reassuring that what I’m doing isn’t going to vanish. But that doesn’t mean that I’m completely happy with it.

As a matter of fact, I decided, just this weekend, to drop half of my education path. I decided that I wanted to be an English and Comm Sciences/Disorders double major with two minors, but this would have added at least one full year to my undergraduate career. About to complete my third year, this was such a tiring notion that I decided against it, and just went back to English and Linguistics, which will allow me to graduate at the end of next year. This, of course, means that I am faced with this “What Next” threat much earlier than I otherwise might have been, but it significantly decreases the amount of debt in which I am bound to find myself.

But that’s not all in my life that’s come to a crossroads lately. Just days ago, it was brought to my attention that my boyfriend of less than a year has lied to me about something dreadfully important since the day that we met. It was such a flawless lie that I believed it without error, and all of the stories matched up. It made sense to me. But not a single word of it was true. Not even one. Most people would have dumped him angrily–and I admit that I probably should have done so–but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I’m so in love with this man that extricating him from my life would be nigh impossible, and I don’t know that there’s a single other soul in this world who could cope with me as well as he does. Our relationship is far from perfect. He’s a pain in the ass to get out of bed in the morning–and that’s putting it nicely–and he can be stubborn as all holy hell. But he’s mine. And the thought of carrying on without him hurt worse than the idea that my trust was broken. Things will never be the same for us, but we made the decision to carry forward, and frankly, the decision was mine to make. I have moments where I’m uncertain; the trust has been broken and it will take a very long time to thoroughly rebuild it.

Posted in Daily Post

Daily Prompt: The Heat is On

Do you thrive under pressure or crumble at the thought of it? Does your best stuff surface as the deadline approaches or do you need to iterate, day after day to achieve something you’re proud of? Tell us how you work best. – Daily Prompt
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/10/daily-prompt-heat/

Truth be told, I am the queen of procrastination. I mean to do things well in advance, steady and without rush. But I just don’t. I never, ever do. I might start ahead of time, buuuuuut I will never do the bulk of it until I am down to the last minute. The night before, the morning of, sometimes even during class. I feel bad about it usually because the stress just about kills me, but old habits die hard, and I doubt I’ll ever really change. Hopefully I can raise children with a different mentality so that life is easier for them, but I guess only time will tell.

Posted in Daily Post

Weekly Writing Challenge: Golden Years

No matter how you shake it, it happens to all of us: we grow older. As our age changes, so does our perspective. This week, we’re asking you to take a look at those little numbers that often mean so much.

17-18

I span that across two years because of the timing of this reasoning. My birthday falls in mid-December, and in October of 2010, just two months before my birthday, my younger brother committed suicide and destroyed the status quo of my life. Suddenly I spiraled into a pit of blackness impossible through which to see, and I lost hold of normality. I suddenly questioned everything, hated everything, loved little. And yet, being the sister of a boy who ended his own life put me in a strange position: I was broken, and yet I felt so bad for our friends that I stood around comforting others instead of allowing them to comfort me.

That was the year I learned what true pain felt like, when I learned that hearts may not break in the traditional sense, but heartache is far from purely metaphor. That was the year that I grew several inches more cynical, because I watched the rest of the world carry on around me as if nothing had happened, nothing had changed, as if there wasn’t a hole ripped out of my life and it didn’t matter.

18 was the age at which I discovered physical contact/interaction with boys, and that it was enough for me to go on dates with anyone who called me pretty.

The year I started college and realized there was so much more to education than the shit I had to deal with in high school, and learned that people really could like me for who I am.